A Fresh Start

*Disclosure – this post swears!*

It should come to no surprise to the people on our social media that I am now, in fact, bald. While I sometimes miss having long, purple, mermaid hair, I absolutely, fucking hated it. Not having hair anymore has come as a massive relief and I do not regret my decision in the slightest.
This decision was not taken lightly; I’d been sitting on the idea for nearly two years. While a multitude of things led to me to shave my head, it was just a culmination of tiny things that irked me about my hair, all happening within the space of about 5 hours.
From multiple cases of eating it on my lunch break to it getting caught in the tills at work and stuck in zippers (ouch), the build-up over two years was reaching the tipping point. The day I shaved it off was just the cherry on top of a gigantic bloody cake; I’d woken up with it wrapped around my neck. That was it – cake toppled; tipping point reached.

The first ‘snip’ is the hardest part. After having long hair for most of my life, I was terrified I was going to look like a potato. Plus, I had to spend 20 minutes sectioning my hair into more manageable chunks because it was so thick and so long. I would definitely recommend sectioning your hair first so that it doesn’t do all over the floor and you spend two hours cleaning your bathroom floor (or the floor of your desired hair-cutting room).
When I’d finished the sectioning, I did spend another good 10 minutes laughing at my fringe in the mirror and watching it bobble up and down – what can I say? I’m easily amused! Whether this was to prolong my impending hair chop or actual amusement, I’m not sure. However, some part of my noggin got tired of the games and told me, “CHOP IT ALREADY!”
This resulted in my trying not to laugh-cry in the bathroom. I couldn’t tell if I’d royally fucked up or made the best decision of my life (spoilers: it’s the latter). There was only one way to tell – cut it all off.

When I had one little bit in the back left, I took the opportunity to see what I would look like as a background character in Star Wars, in which one of my friends told me that I looked like a young, Obi Wan Kenobi – the best compliment I think I’ll ever receive in my entire life.
Then came the best bit – shaving the rest off. Even though it’s the ‘best bit’, it was strangely anti-climactic. Like I said before, the most daunting part was the first snip. I would say hearing the buzzing of trimmers going towards your head is a close second. After that everything else was pretty easy.
I would highly advise putting a towel down and wearing an old tshirt. I’m lucky in that there was a mat in the bathroom, but your hair will go everywhere. You also need to shower afterwards. If I hadn’t, I’m sure I’d still be scratching at my neck at the little bits of hair stuck to it.
Another word of warning – you won’t stop feeling your head for at least 24 hours afterwards. Mine’s grown out a little now, but I’m still feeling it out of disbelief that I finally did it.

Strangely, I feel a lot better about myself. While my mental health is still fucked (for lack of a better term), my hair isn’t something I need to worry about as much anymore. It doesn’t get in the way of my day to day life anymore and I can actually concentrate on what I’m doing.
One thing I am looking forward to is my hair getting back to Padawan length (minus the braid, of course). It felt very *me* and I liked the length so much that I was almost tempted to just go get it fixed and neatened up on the Monday. However, I’d already bought the trimmers, so the head-shave was happening.

This post isn’t to inspire you to do something drastic. The reason it took me so long to finally do this was because I wanted to make sure it was something I genuinely wanted to do, and not just down to my BPD-fuelled, impulsive behaviour.
If you feel like you want to brave the baldness, really think about how it will affect your current lifestyle; weigh out those pros and cons. As helpful as it is to ask others what they think, the same people who were telling me that I’d regret it are the same people who are telling me it looks amazing. Trust your gut and your instinct.
And, if you really don’t like it, don’t worry. It’s only hair – it grows back!

Have Hope Always


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